“Brian! Wake up damn it! Please wake up! I know you wouldn’t ever do that! Come on you! Wake up!”
I woke to the above and found my wife standing over me on my side of the bed. She had a tight grip on me for sure and I wasn’t certain as to what had just happened.
“Julia?” I called softly, feeling a bit alarmed as to why she had shaken me awake. “What’s happening? What have I done?”
Julia let out a long breath before saying shakily, “It’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. You know that, right?”
I looked at her questioningly before speaking quietly, “I was having a nightmare I guess, right?” Julia sat down on the edge of the bed next to me and placed a shaking hand in mine replying, “Yes. It was a rather intense one. But… Before you even go there… No. You didn’t do anything to hurt me. You didn’t do anything wrong. It was what you were saying that prompted me to wake you. It was a bit scarry. I’m not even sure if it was really you talking. I know that sounds strange but…”
“Julia,” I said cutting her off. “Please Come lay next to me. You’re shaking like a leaf and probably feel worse than I do right now. Please? Come back under the covers with me? I promise I’ll be good,” I added.
Julia let out a shaky laugh before heading back to get in on her side of the bed. “Come this way?” Julia said softly as she slid under the covers. “The sheets on your side are soaked in sweat.”
“Why don’t we just take a shower then,” I suggested. Julia agreed and sprang out of bed again.
The shower felt nice and seemed to soothe Julia’s nerves quite a bit. I started to feel a bit of a panic attack coming on. But Julia, sensing it, pulled me close and simply said, “Breathe with me. Feel me breathing and breathe with me. You’ve done nothing wrong. We’re good. We’re ok.”
Later on that morning, she came into my study between virtual therapy sessions and gave me a thumb drive. “This has a recording of what happened on it. I think you’ll want to listen to it for yourself.”
She left, giving me a gentle kiss before stepping out of the room again. And… At one point during the afternoon, after getting back from doing some paid tech work for Ellen, I listened to the recording Julia had given me. As it turned out, I realized that the nightmare was more along the lines of a vision for a case I had been recently presented with by my creepy associates over at the FBI.
So, after taking some notes I forwarded the information I had gleaned from the sound file in a text. Then I went in the bedroom and changed the sheets on the bed.
Julia was still in session while I was doing this and when she came out of her study, she found me in the kitchen pulling steaks out of the oven. “You’re sweet,” she said. Then she added, “There’s also a text on your phone.”
I picked up the phone and sure enough, there was a text suggesting we catch the news over dinner or something. It also said, “Don’t forget to check your mailbox before calling it a night. You’ll want what’s inside with the rest of the mail you haven’t collected yet.”
“Fucking wiseasses,” I muttered smiling. Julia put her arms around me and said, “Our creepy friends up to their usual tricks again?” When I nodded, Julia kissed me deeply saying, “I’m going to get the mail while you finish setting dinner up here if that’s ok.”
I nodded with a smile and turned back to putting the last touches on dinner before setting it on the table. When Julia came back inside, she was quiet. Then, finally she said, “There’s a bank envelope in my study with the mail that’s got your name on it. But… I’m guessing you already knew that,” she finished with a giggle.
After we ate, I went in the living room and turned on the news. Julia followed and then let out a shout of surprise when she heard the top story. “That’s what you were talking about in your nightmare this morning!” Then she added soberly, “I’m glad we didn’t watch that over dinner. What happened to that woman… That’s awful. And… She’s going to have to live with that memory for the rest of her life,” Julia finished softly. Then she came to me and put her arms around me before breathing in my ear, “And so will we.” She then began crying silently, going limp in my arms.
“What you recorded was all from her captor’s perspective. I’ve never done anything like that before to my knowledge, unless you count what I accidently trans wrote in a couple of term papers during my CCM days. But… Maybe she’ll bounce back from what happened to her, you know?” I said gently.
“Do you really think anyone can?” Julia said softly, trying to choke back more tears. “Sometimes it’s the most fucked up people that end up helping us the most,” I replied.
I then gently steered her towards the couch where I sat holding her. “I’m sorry,” I said softly. “I really am sorry. I never thought in a million years something like this would ever happen and now it’s hurting you too.”
Julia half laughed and half cried at that point saying, “If you can live with this, I certainly can. We’ll manage it. I’ll find a way to uphold things on my end. I swear. I’m not leaving you. Not ever. This morning was frightening. Yes. But what it led to was worth it. Everything you do in that realm is worth it.”
Julia then continued, “You bring people closure even when you’re not saving lives. It’s all good. I can live with that.”
We sat for a long time in silence after that, Julia slowly composing herself as I ran my fingers through that awesome long hair of hers. Then, quietly, we headed into the bedroom for a long restful night of blissful sleep.