“You’re pissed, and I don’t blame you. Since when does McDonald’s only care about the drive through, treat people waiting at the register as an afterthought, short people on orders routinely, and fail to keep a restaurant clean?”
Julia then kissed me lightly on the lips as we sat in the Ram, having just walked out of the Newton NJ McDonald’s at around 6:30 PM. “Dinner wasn’t supposed to be stressful,” Julia said. “I’m sorry.”
I looked at her and smiled. “No worries,” I said. “It wasn’t your fault. Thanks for agreeing to leave with me without making a scene.”
Julia laughed as she began backing our Dodge out of the parking spot. When I felt her goose the engine, I had a feeling as to what was coming next and chuckled saying, “Julia? It’s ok.” “I know,” Julia said playfully.
My suspicions were confirmed as to Julia’s intent when I heard, “Thank you for coming to McDonald’s. How may I take your order?”
Julia ignored the girl on the Newton NJ McDonald’s intercom and said to me loud enough to be heard by the young lady ready to take our order, “I’m sorry Brian but the part about this whole thing that pisses me off the most is they intentionally ignored you. You were only up there to ask for the coffee that never came with the order you paid for, and they just looked straight at you and blew you off. Why? Because they thought they could get away with it with a blind person? What a bunch of fucking assholes?”
As Julia spoke, she gave my leg a playful squeeze knowing I’d sense what she was up to. When the girl asked for our order again, Julia ignored her, and I could tell she was enjoying herself. “How would one of them like to be treated like that? Does McDonald’s CEO Chris Kempczinski teach his franchise owners it’s ok to run their restaurants based on prejudice? I thought that McDonald’s had a benchmark of great service and cleanliness franchises were all supposed to adhere to. And don’t give me any more of that crap that they can’t get enough good help because of COVID. That ship full of bullshit has long since sailed and this place is a shithole inside!”
Julia then gave my leg another playful squeeze and allowed the truck to roll very slowly forward without giving it the gas. “Julia?” I said. “Um… Leased truck?” We were rolling up to the first window and Julia suddenly turned up the stereo, blasting out Twisted Sister’s, “We’re Not Gunna Take It.”
The person at the first window, where you would normally pay for your order, was yelling something in an effort to be heard over the stereo but Julia just kept the Ram rolling through at a snail’s pace. As we approached the second window, where one would normally pick up their order, Julia slammed her foot down on the accelerator, smoking the crap out of the rear tires as we reached it, yelling out the driver’s side window as we crept by, “Brian says thanks for the coffee! It was fucking great!”
Julia knows how to make that truck walk and talk and eased off the gas before the tires had a chance to take hold, rolling us gently down the driveway to the exit, laughing all the way. “Damn that felt good!” Julia joyfully exclaimed.
You know? I’d say Julia’s got stress management down pretty good, “Wouldn’t you?”