“There’s my man,” Julia breathed when her eyes opened. “You carried me to bed and everything last night you sweet thing. You really do know how to care for a pretty girl. Thank you.”
We woke in a tangle of sheets and limbs, my having fallen asleep holding Julia close to me on her side of the bed. I’m not quite sure how we came to be tangled up in the sheets and each other during the night but I felt warm and rested. I could tell Julia felt the same way, too.
“You’re a good man, Brian,” Julia whispered. “I’m grateful to be yours.”
She then kissed me lightly on the lips before hitting the bathroom. I passed her on her way out as I headed there myself when I could hear she’d finished.
“Come meet a pretty girl back in bed?” Julia asked warmly as she breezed by. She then added playfully, “Pretty please? I promise I’ll be very good.”
“I’ve got no doubt about that what so ever,” I chuckled. And… When I returned to the bedroom, Julia really was quite good. “Awesomely good!”
We spent most of the day, her reading to me from the book we’d started. We even sat out on the front porch for a while waiting for the Paco’s Pizza delivery guy to show up around 4:30 PM with a couple of salads for dinner.
Of course, us being us, there were more than a few quickies during the course of the day, which added to our overall sense of bliss. It was cool and wet outside and we just couldn’t help but make the most of our time together burning off a little excess energy inside. We even did a half hours worth of spin biking together before taking a nice sensual couple’s shower after dinner.
As we lay in bed around 9:00 PM, Julia gently said, “You were really pushing yourself hard on the bike before, Babe. You actually looked a bit pissed at one point while you were going at it. Is everything ok?”
I simply nodded, knowing she could see me. Julia then kissed my lips lightly, her having been laying on her side, facing me. “You weren’t running some sort of affirmation or visualization by chance, were you, Babe?” Julia asked gently. “I mean… Well… It’s none of my business but… I felt a bit of a chill at one point and then saw the look on your face and…”
I gently ran a finger through her hair and said quietly, “I was just working through a few things. That’s all. No psychic scorched earth stuff going on here. I promise. Doing that kind of thing comes with consequences and… Right now… Well…”
I then swallowed hard to stop the tears from coming before saying, “Even if I wanted to, it wouldn’t be worth it. The darkness that kind of meditative or ritual type magic would bring wouldn’t be worth it. I wasn’t doing that. I was just working through some stuff that was coming up in the moment.”
Julia moved close to me, and breathed, “It’s ok. I believe you. And… Even if you were doing something with that gift of yours, I do trust you completely. I really do.”
She then gently kissed me lightly before saying, “You don’t have to hide the tears, Brian. You can let go. I know you don’t like to. But… You are in a safe space here. You can let them out if you want.”
Julia has never ever demanded that I share all my feelings with her, and I love her for that. The only thing she has ever done is let me know that I’m in a safe place should I need to let go, and I love her for that, too.
It probably sounds a little crazy but, there’s a huge difference between being expected to be able to cry in front of someone and allowed to cry in front of someone. Julia doesn’t expect that I’m going to and she doesn’t get offended if I don’t or attempt to hide it.
Julia simply reminds me that crying in front of her is allowed. She doesn’t push. She doesn’t seek to exert control. She simply lets me let go if I need to.
So, nodding in response, I gave in at last and let the tears come out. As the meltdown started, I reached a hand towards Julia and she whispered, “How do you want me.”
I motioned for her to cover me with her body, which she did. How she managed to grab the box of tissues off the nightstand as she shifted, I will never know. The jag didn’t last long though, Feeling the weight of Julia’s body on top of me having a calming effect, her gripping me with her arms and legs and resting her head on my chest making the pain slip away quickly.
Once the tears had subsided, I felt Julia lift her head up to look at me and could feel her gazing at me intensely. “Better?” Julia asked warmly.
I nodded in reply, and she said, “Good,” and then stretched up for a kiss.
“Do you want me to move?” Julia then asked gently. When I shook my head, she giggled softly and said, “Good. I love lying with you like this. It feels nice. It brings me peace.”
And… With that… Julia lightly rested her head on my shoulder… Gave me one last squeeze with her arms and legs… And then… Yeah… “We both promptly fell asleep.”