When Julia collected me for a Newton NJ Dunkin run around noon time, I noticed she seem to have something on her mind. But… With therapist client confidentiality being what it is… No… I don’t press. My thinking being that if she can tell me she will tell me. Of course, I was assuming that her work didn’t have anything to do with me because it never does. As of today though, “That changed!”
After dropping me off back at the house and heading back to her office in town, she did call just to chat for a few minutes, which isn’t unusual. But… Even then I had the strange sense like she was trying to figure something out. However, her job is sometimes difficult so that’s not out of the ordinary. And… Yeah… She does have a therapist of her own, which I think is a requirement for any licensed therapist in the State of New Jersey. “Don’t quote me on that one though!”
And then she came home and, after giving me a big hug and kiss when I met her at the door, Julia followed me back into my study and sat behind me as I finished up fixing a broken website for a client. As I was logging off my machine she softly said, “You make that look so easy, like you’d been doing it for a thousand years. You make so many things seem oh so easy.”
At that point I turned to her and smiled. “You’re good for my ego babe,” I said, “But the truth is that I don’t have a clue as to what I’m doing, or am going to do, a lot of the time. I’m just kind of feeling my way a lot of the time.”
“Please come sit with me?” Julia asked. So, after stretching for a few seconds I moved from the desk chair over to where she was sitting on my couch and sat down next to her.
She nestled herself into my side as I put out an arm in her direction, sensing her desire to move closer to me. I then patiently waited for her to speak.
“I’ve taken on a few new clients over the past few months; seven in total,” she said quietly. “Most folks that come into my office are just your average run of the mill folks trying to find their way in this life like most of us,” she said, taking my free hand in hers and giving it a gentle squeeze.
After pausing for a few moments, she then continued on after taking a deep relaxing breath. Then she continued saying, “But three of my new clients have recently told me some remarkable stories about overcoming health issues like cancer, tumors, and diabetes.” I then felt her head tilt upward as she spoke, and I knew she was studying my face as she seemed to be choosing her next words very carefully.
Then, finally, as if she’d made a final decision she said, “They all seemed to think the healings they experienced had to do with a man they had slept with only once.” She stopped and the words just hung there in the air for a few seconds, followed by a dead silence.
“One woman told me she’d met him at Walmart, having just discovered she had lung cancer that very morning,” Julia finally continued on softly, as if hardly daring to believe the words coming out of her own mouth. “The woman said that she’d offered to drive him and his Seeing Eye Dog home, which he accepted. She apparently had invited herself inside his apartment under the pretense of helping him bring his bag inside and then she proceeded to initiate sex with him.”
Julia took another deep breath and plowed on more confidently, watching my face all the while as she spoke, saying, “Within about two weeks of that encounter and a few more tests later her cancer was gone.” She then reached up stroking my face with her hand saying, “My other client says she saw a man out walking near Sussex County Community College and gave him a ride to Staples. She too had recently found out she had a health problem and was feeling kind of low at that point in her life. She said that she’d had such a good time talking with him, she’d decided to help him shop, before returning him back home to his apartment and…” Julia trailed off rather sheepishly saying, “I’m sure you have a good idea what came next.” I looked down into her eyes and asked, “She made a move on him once in his apartment?”
Julia nodded and I felt her head movement against the arm still around her shoulders. She then said her third client had a story similar to tell but she was just out walking around the apartment complex where the man lived with his Seeing Eye Dog. Apparently, the woman had been talking with him for quite a while before asking if she could use his bathroom. She told Julia in session, “He was so uplifting to talk to, and I just got really turned on in his presence. When I got done in the bathroom, I freshened up a bit and told him I wanted to Fuck him. I figured for sure he’d throw me out. But he just went with it, and it was wonderful.”
I slowly asked her, “I’m guessing you’re going to tell me that she got a clean bill of health after seeing her doctor, too?” Julia shifted into my lap and kissed me ever so tenderly before answering, “Yes.”
She then said, “All of these women told me this stuff had happened a while ago, like before you and I knew each other.” “Ok?” I said slowly and cautiously. “So…?” I asked rather nervously, not feeling like I was sitting on anything solid at this point.
Julia then gently placed her hands on my shoulders and shifted around on my lap so that she was looking me full in the face. “Well,” she said in a tone that plainly reflected her joyful smile, “They all described this man as being tall, dark and handsome. They all said he had a black Labrador Retriever that they’d seen him out with in the Newton area with on countless occasions.”
I was shocked, having finally caught on. All I could manage was, “I’ll admit that I slept around quite a bit before you and I ever met but… Baby… I am not Jesus.” She then held me tight to her as she kissed me, rather taking my breath away. When she finally released me, she was laughing and said, “Don’t look so scared honey. It’s ok.”
She then asked, “Do you remember these women?” I was then like, “Yeah… I think so. But don’t ask me to describe them in detail. I do have a bit of trouble with my colors and things. If they are who I think they are… the one with the cancer was a very solidly built five nine with shoulder length curly hair. The other two… One was about five foot two or so and pretty slender and about ten years younger than me. She struck me as being in the military. In fact, I think she told me she was a Marine. The other I think might have been about fifteen years older than me but… Don’t quote me on that. She had really long soft flowing hair, and I’m pretty sure she was married but… Oh fuck… Um… I’m going to shut up now before I get myself into more trouble than I probably am in already.”
Julia laughed and hugged me tightly for a long while; half laughing and half crying. “Uh… Honey?” I asked her, “Does this mean I have to move out now?” She only answered me with very deep passionate kisses. “Ok? I can stay then I’m guessing?” I asked her when she finally paused for some air.
When Julia finally settled down a bit she said, “Of course I want you to stay. I know you’re with me now and, for the record, they have no idea who I am in relationship to you.” She then said very gently, “Obviously I can’t tell you anything about why they are in my office. I shouldn’t have even told you what I did just now. But… I had to know for certain and now I do.”
“Know that I got around?” I asked laughing, “I’d already told you that. I also think I told you I’d slept with so many women I lost count.” She giggled and said, “You’ve made that very clear. You’ve been very honest, and I appreciate that.”
She then asked, “Did you know you’re a Sexual Healer? I mean… Did you know what you were doing for these women?” I silently shook my head, “No.”
“To be honest,” I said, “I’ve had some dreams over the years that indicated that but didn’t want to believe it. My thinking was that if I was a Sexual Healer I should have been able to help people like Ellen, Christine, and…”
I paused giving her a lost look at that point and she said to me very softly, “But you did. Maybe not the way you thought you should be able to. But you did help them, too.”
She then just sat there running her fingers through my hair; letting me digest her words for a while. Then she stood up and grabbed my hands and said, “We’re going out to eat. We’re taking your truck for a change and can put gas in it while we’re out if you need to, too.”
I stood up and kissed her lightly on the lips before looking for my jacket and stuff so we could go. We hit the Andover A&G for dinner and the QuickChek on Rt 206 in Newton for gas before returning home.
Once back in the house Julia asked me to join her in the bathtub, which I did. Neither of us talked much for the rest of the evening but we really didn’t have to.
Some things are best expressed through physical action and our bodies were communicating the messages we wanted to get across to each other quite nicely on their own. By the time all was said and done Julia drifted off to sleep knowing I love her more than any words or single action could ever say. And… For her part… She wordlessly let me know through the energy she radiated from her body and in her very movements that tonight’s conversation about those three clients of hers was not a trap or anything I should ever be concerned about.
Tonight, she wordlessly let me know beyond a doubt how special she thought I was from the beginning. She made it clear that hasn’t changed and never will. Not with all that she knows now. Her certainty has been confirmed once and for all and no one will ever shake the love or faith she feels for me.